Day 19 is Mission
It should be easier to find your mission, or your vocation, or your meaning when you’re Catholic, shouldn’t it? If you know your big picture goal (Heaven), it should be easier to find your little picture goal (vocation).
Why does it never work that way?
Or rather, when you are blessed to find your vocation (or vocations. I mean, mother is one, but there are others as well), why is it so hard to get to a place where you can fulfill it? I have a pretty solid understanding of why I’m here– wife and mother, and a certain skill set that jives with a certain job. And I don’t hold that job. I hold a job that makes me miserable, that drains my will to live and my ability to live out the other two vocations, and I work there even now because we need me to. How easy that essay makes it sound, to find what you need to do and just DO IT! Go for it! Your mission is everything!
Yeah, I bet its a lot easier when you’ve been working a six figure job for a while and you don’t have a family and you can just sell off all your fancy stuff and pay off the debt. Its a bit harder when you’re making a decent but not amazing salary, and you can’t do more than the aggressive payment plan with no extra payments, and you have to care for your kid and your husband.
That’s where the stress and the anxiety come in. That’s where its hard to keep going. That’s where your faith is tested and tested and stressed and faces breaking. It is hard to find someone who owns that, who says “Yeah, its difficult. Yeah, its going to be hard. It is going to take longer than you want it to.” Its a harder message, isn’t it? No one wants to hear that when their enthusiasm is new and shiny and beautiful. No one wants to feel like they’ll fall off the wagon the way a thousand New Years resolutions have before.
Here’s the thing, though. It is tough. Its a total mindset change, there’s no possible WAY it could be easy. Its hard, and it should be hard. Things can’t be easy just because they’re good. Was there anything easy about Christ’s mission on earth? Was there anything easy about the lives of the Apostles, of the Saints and martyrs we hold up? Of course not. And isn’t it easy to say that, like that should be enough? That’s hardly enough when you’re beat down, and the people at work beat on your mentally, and you just don’t want to clean up or whatever the world needs now. That’s the hard part.